


Kingdom of Welcome Addiction

by Flamyoi



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcoholic Tony Stark, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Confused Tony, Denial of Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki outsmarts Friday, M/M, Mention of Loss, Mutual Teasing, Panic Attacks, Rough Kissing, Sexual Tension, Song Lyrics, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony trying to cope, Tony-centric, Worried JARVIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 21:59:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12466816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamyoi/pseuds/Flamyoi
Summary: After the events of Sokovia, Tony Stark is badly trying to adjust to his new life when he finally finds something healthier to do than drowning into alcohol and self-pity. As Tony goes back to his lab to work on JARVIS’s code, Loki decides to show up repeatedly at the Tower, prompting Tony into acknowledging he needs him.





	Kingdom of Welcome Addiction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my second work in Avengers' fandom, the first one being I AM TERRIFIED, which can be read along this one since both of my works begins the same way (Tony trying to cope with tragic events, then Loki shows up) and takes different turns. And while there's still song lyrics in this one (check it out if you want, Kingdom of Welcome Addiction by IAMX) there are no more synaesthesias with colours. 
> 
> Hope you'll like it.

****Kingdom of Welcome Addiction** **

__(English version)_ _

 

Tony Stark is sitting alone at a bar’s counter, toying with his empty glass set on the shining surface. It is not even dark outside, but thanks to his money, the barman has not said a word when he ordered his first whiskey two hours ago. That is not as if he is used to doing so anyway. He did not know what to do, and he ended up here.

His mind is not blurry enough for his thoughts to stop. He cannot bear to see the events of the last weeks again and again. His whole world is now buried deep under the ground. He made mistakes, again. He made mistakes, and now he can’t do anything to solve them. They have already saved what little could be saved from the huge mess he has done.

Then, they left, and Tony can’t actually blame them. He deserves to feel guilty, and he deserves to be alone.

He orders another drink and watches as the barman pours the amber coloured alcohol in the glass and adds ice. Tony thanks him and gulps half his drink.

Mm, it should be better in a few minutes. The alcohol will help him forget, that’s for sure. It always does.

Tony feels like he is completely lost. That is not the first time that he has made mistakes he thought he could not fix, although that is the first time he acknowledges that he is useless.

He is in mourning, too. That does not help.

Because of his foolishness, he has lost his last true friend. He has killed him.

Tony drains his glass and sets his elbows on the counter.

He has killed JARVIS. He thought he would be able to do something great, to impress his friends and colleagues, to impress himself even. Well, the only thing they were impressed by was his bottomless foolishness.     

One by one, every Avenger has left the Tower without looking back.

Clint wanted to go back to his family. Natasha was unsure about what to do, whether to go with Clint or to try to find Bruce again. Steve was uncomfortable and often got on Tony’s nerves since there weren’t a lot of topics on which they agreed. Wanda was mourning her brother, and Tony felt guilty for his death too.

Tony cannot say he was really depressed to see Vision leave, though. The super-hero reminds him too much of JARVIS, without being him for real. That was painful to have him hanging around the Tower.

As for SHIELD, they were not exactly happy of the disaster in Sokovia, and stopped giving Tony missions. He is still wondering if he is angry or relieved about that. He misses saving people and having a purpose in his life, and at the same time, he is glad he can use his armour for his own pleasure.

He is lucky to be rich enough to spend his days doing nothing even if he lost his job.

Pepper tried to make him come back into management. He asked how she would feel if he ruined Stark’s Industries like he has ruined the Avengers. Then, he saw the tears running down her cheeks, and he began to apologise. Pepper smiled sadly and left the room. That was two weeks ago, and he has only seen her twice since that happened.

Of course, he feels guilty for hurting her as well.

If only he still had JARVIS with him, he would find something to do instead of drinking during the day.

If only.

Tony nearly falls from his high stool when he sits up straight too hastily. Of course, why did it take so long to figure it out? He’s an inventor; he has created JARVIS from nothing when he was younger. Why wouldn’t he be able to do it again? Plus, he has access to the old back-ups, and he has even more technical skills than before.

Suddenly dizzy with all the possibilities, Tony barely manages to stand up and hand the barman a few bills before leaving the bar to find his car.

[...]

Admittedly, he drove much faster than the law allows him to, he has even beaten his last speed record. It only took him ten minutes to come back from the bar while it took him almost twenty to go there earlier in the afternoon.

He parks the cherry red sports car in the pristine basement and takes the elevator to reach his lab. He clenches his fist when it is Friday’s voice that welcomes him on the twentieth floor. He had to program another AI after JARVIS’ disappearance; he didn’t know anymore how to work without it. Even if she is not his dear butler, Friday is efficient enough.

But he needs to do something about that really quickly.

He stops by the kitchen he hasn't used since his last team mate has left, was that one or two weeks ago?, and switches the coffee maker on. He will need some to surpass the alcohol in his veins. He cannot afford to feel sleepy when he is finally back to work.

“Friday, can you light up everything?”

Seconds later, the whole floor is shining like a Christmas tree. Tony is already deep in his technical thoughts.

The sound of the coffee maker makes him come back to earth, and he collects the full mug before entering his lab. The place is clean and silent. He would almost hear his own heart if it weren't damaged.

He pensively drinks a bit of coffee and then sits down before a large computer.

“Okay, let’s do this.” He whispers to himself.

[...]

Eight hours later, Tony crawls out of the lab. He looks like he hasn’t slept for a day, and that’s probably true, but there’s the tiniest of smile on his lips. He tumbles on a couch in the corner of the living-room. He would sleep far better in his own bed; he knows that. He also knows he can’t reach his bedroom in this state; he’s too weak. He needs to sleep for a few hours, and then he will be able to go to his bedroom and falls on a more comfortable surface. That is, if he doesn’t go back to work as soon as he wakes up.

His back touches the fabric, and he falls asleep instantly.

[...]

Tony wakes up with a start. He hears Friday’s voice, but he cannot understand what she is saying. He turns his head and beholds the room. He doesn’t remember much of the past night; apart from the hours spent in the lab.

“Sir, Miss Potts is here. “

The inventor feels a twinge of panic rising through his chest.

“What time is it?”

“Nine ‘o’clock, sir, the AI answers. It’s Monday.”

Shit. He has forgotten their weekly meeting. He has managed to skip it last week, but of course, Pepper would be here today.  

“Okay, well, send her in and ask her to wait for a bit. I’ll be right back.”

“As you wishl, sir.”

Tony rubs his forehead and stands up. Hopefully, the living-room is clean enough. He sighs and walks toward his bedroom, situated at the end of the hallway.

He closes the door once inside, strips off his clothes and hurries in the shower. The scalding water burns his skin and eases the panic still knotting his chest.

He wraps a towel around his hips and swiftly looks at his own reflection in the mirror. He must have lost some weight; his cheeks look a bit hollow, but otherwise, he does not look too much like a hermit. That should be enough to convince Pepper that he is doing well.

Tony takes another towel to dry his hair and walks into his bedroom to find clean clothes. As he opens a drawer, he suddenly notices a movement near the bed.

He turns over and gasps. There is someone on his bed and not just anyone. Tony cannot believe it. He rubs his eyes with his fingers and hopes that it is only a vision. But why would it be a vision? He has slept quite longer than usual, and there is not a single drop of alcohol left in his veins. As strange as it appears, Tony Stark is for once unlikely to have visions of any kind.

The inventor opens his eyes and cannot help but curse loudly.

“Well, well, Stark. You don’t seem exceedingly happy to see me.”

That’s definitely not a vision; however it may be a nightmare. Yeah, that sounds logical. Tony is probably still sleeping on the couch and for some obscure reason he’s having nightmares about Him.

“I am as real as can be, Stark. Honestly, I’m disappointed. I thought you would have missed me.” He says, as if Tony spoke out loud.

Tony snorts. Then he remembers that Pepper is waiting for him. He turns his back to the bed and rummages in the drawer until he finds clean clothes. Without looking back at the bed, he locks himself up in the bathroom and changes after drying himself off. Now wearing a pair of blue jeans and his favourite dark Black Sabbath t-shirt, he hangs the towels on a hook and leaves the bathroom.

There is still someone on his bed. He curses again.

“Yes, I’m still here, Stark. You are unmistakably grumpy this morning. Care to explain why?”

Tony looks at him. Surely, answering won’t make it worse, right?

“It was going to be a pleasant day until you showed up uninvited in my bedroom.”

“You wound me. I thought you would choose me over Miss Potts.”

“How do you know that- Never mind. This is not about choosing someone over someone else. She’s here for work.”

Tony doesn’t miss the sudden glint of joy in the man’s eyes.

“Does that mean you’d stay here if she wasn’t waiting for you?”

“That’s not what I meant. How did you get in anyway?”

The man stands up, as graceful as a cat, and Tony is definitely not watching how flexible his body seems to be.

“It appears you haven’t told your new head of security how dangerous I can be for the little mortals who live here.”

Fuck.

“Your bad, my luck. I was sure there would be an angry alarm at some point, although it was almost too easy to get in, to my surprise.”

Tony wishes he is trapped in a nightmare. However, what the man is saying makes sense. He has apparently neglected to set the anti-villain-protocol back when he created Friday. He was in a rush, and he has neglected the security in order to get back an operational AI more quickly. Friday does not know the man. Tony himself thought he would not get to see him before a long time.

He was supposed to be locked up in a cell, after all, not wandering freely on this planet. Tony rolls his eyes. They certainly have faults in their security in Asgard as well.

“Friday, could you tell Miss Potts that I’m no longer able to join her for our meeting?”

“Of course, sir. What can I say if she asks why?”

“Tell her I’ve got to deal with an unpleasant and urgent situation; that there is a breach in the Tower’s security. She will get all worried, so assure her that I’ll call her later today.”

“As you wish, sir.”

“As pleased as I am to see you push your girlfriend away in order to spend time with me, I do not think frightening her will work.”

“Shut up, if you were still on Asgard I wouldn’t be in trouble. And by the way, Pepper is not my girlfriend.”

Tony is surprised by the silence that follows. Did he manage to make the man obey him?

“Miss Potts has left, sir. She said that if you don't call her today, she will make sure you can’t use me as an excuse next time you make her wait for nothing.”

“Err... Thanks, Friday.” Tony mumbles.

He doesn’t want to see Pepper angry. He already feels guilty for skipping the meeting two weeks in a row, even if today wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t possibly let the man wander around the Tower while he is busy with Start Industries’ business, could he?

“What do you want anyway?” He asks the man.

“Me?” He grins. “I just wanted to see you. It’s been a long time.”

Tony sighs. This is surreal. This day is a fucking joke.

“Well, you’ve seen me, now you can go. I have things to do.”

If he didn’t know him, he would swear the man just pouted.

“You’re no fun, Stark.”

“I’m not here to play your silly games.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that. You’ll see, Stark. One day, you’ll beg to play my games. Until then, ****I’ll be watching you****.”

The man smiles at him and disappears in a spark of magic.

Tony stands straight without moving in the middle of his bedroom. He didn’t know the man could use his magic with such ease. That’s disconcerting to say the least.

He ****takes a deep breath****  and shrugs. Well, since no one is bothering him now, maybe it’s time to get back to work.

[...]

Tony stays in the lab until the night falls upon the city. His eyes are burning after so much time spent in front of a computer screen, and his stomach is muttering complaints. He has drunk mug after mug of coffee but hasn’t felt the need to eat anything solid. He remembers his promise to call Pepper and casts a quick glance at the clock. It’s half past ten. Good, she should still be awake.

Tony slumps on the couch and dials Pepper’s number on his cell phone.

“Hi Pepper.” He manages to say before yawning.

“Tony! Do you have any idea of how worried I was?”

“Yeah, quite, since you threatened my AI.”

“Well, I obviously needed to do something to make my point clear. Was there really a breach or was it another excuse or yours?”

“I swear to you; I was going to join you in the living-room when Friday told me about the breach. I had to go to the lab and fix it before it goes worse.”

“What kind of breach?”

“Apparently, I forgot to program Friday with the same protocols JARVIS had, so someone tried to break into the networks.”

“Tony Stark has been outsmarted by a hacker?”

Tony hears the disbelief in Pepper’s voice. He feels kind of ashamed.

“Yeah, well...”

“Did you fix it? Is it safe now?”

“I guess it is. I can’t know for sure until they try again.”

Tony suddenly feels cold sweats going down his back. He has forgotten to work on the real security breach for he was certain he could bring JARVIS back the same day. As things are, he is nowhere near his goal.  

“I believe you, but this is the last time you cancel a meeting, you hear me? I can’t afford to lose time like that. Next Monday, you’d better be on time.”

“I will be.”

“Good.”

“Goodnight Pepper.”

“You too. See you next week.”

Tony hangs up. He feels at the same time proud because she believed him and guilty because he lied to her. He should be used to feeling guilty after all this time.

He yawns again and sets his phone on a couch’s cushion. Then, he stands up and walks toward the kitchen.

He fixes himself a pair of sandwiches and goes back to the couch to eat them. When he is done, he leaves the plate on the coffee table and heads toward his bedroom. He needs to sleep for a while and forget about today's mess.

[...]

When he wakes up, he has the strange feeling of being watched. Then he remembers the previous day events, and he makes a face. It’s too early in the morning to deal with that kind of things.

“Still grumpy today?”

Tony mumbles some nasty swear words. Then, he sits up and looks around. The dark-haired man is cosily sitting in the recliner near the window, around fifteen feet away from the bed Tony is sitting on. That’s not enough distance between this madman and him.

“Go the fuck away. I’m tired of you hanging around here.”

“Oh, my dear Stark. That’s only the beginning.” The man says in a singsong voice, obviously unconcerned about Tony cursing.

Tony chooses to ignore him and grabs yesterday’s clothes before locking himself up in the bathroom. The scalding water doesn’t help as much as the previous day. He brushes his teeth angrily and leaves his hair all messed up. He doesn’t even hope the man will be gone when he will leave the bathroom; he knows it’s useless.

He storms out of the room to find the man lying shamelessly on his bed.

“Make yourself at home.” He mumbles.

The man flashes a pleased smile. Tony rolls his eyes and leaves the room for he does not want the man to hear what he will say to his AI.

“Friday!”

“Yes, sir?”

“From now on and until further notice, the man currently in my bedroom, also known as Loki, God of mischief and responsible for the New York Incident a few years ago, is not allowed to enter this Tower. If he does try, because he will, call his brother, Thor, whom you’ve met. He will deal with him.”

“What if Mr Thor doesn’t answer the call?”

“You call SHIELD and tell them that Loki is threatening people here.”

“Are you sure, sir? He hasn’t threatened anyone.”

“Yes Friday, I’m quite sure. Do your homework and look for his misdeeds in the database, you’ll find plenty of them. Now if you don’t mind, do as I say.”

“As you wish, sir.”

The anger recedes, and Tony feels suddenly ashamed. He wouldn’t dare to speak like that to JARVIS, why has he been so rude to Friday? This is not her fault if he cannot do his job properly.

“I’m sorry, Friday.”

She does not answer. JARVIS would have. When he thought one of Tony’s ideas was crap, he would tell him.

He misses JARVIS so much...

Tony hurries to the kitchen and makes himself two mugs of coffee. He drinks the first in the kitchen and leaves the empty mug in the sink. He takes the second one with him into the lab and sits down in front of his computer, ready to spend a day trying to bring his old friend back.

He crawls to his bed hours later when the coffee is not working anymore.

[...]

Tony is awake, although he does not want to open his eyes. He does not know if what he has said to Friday was sufficient to keep Loki away. If he is honest with himself, he does not believe it was.

“I know you’re pretending to sleep. You’re not snoring anymore.”

“Oi!” Tony exclaims.

He opens his eyes cautiously. Today, Loki is sitting on the edge of the bed and he looks satisfied with himself, as usual.

“How did you get here?”

“Are you going to ask the same question every day, Stark?” He asks, while raising one single eyebrow. “I’ve teleported myself into your bedroom, and then a lady warned me about what I was risking if I came here. I was pretty disappointed that you chose to threaten me with Thor and some kind of shield.”

“You left me no choice.”

“Stark, Stark, Stark...” Loki whispers. “I was sincere when I offered you to play my games. I mean no harm.”

Loki seems honest. This is obviously a nightmare. Loki cannot be honest; he is the God of Lies for fuck’s sake!

Tony wants to bury his head into his pillow and scream until he loses his voice.

“Friday?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Why did you let him in?”

“Mr Loki told me that if I called his brother or SHIELD, he would disappear instantly and I would have to explain to them that I’d called them for nothing.”

“He’s not my brother.” Loki mumbles.

“You were supposed to threaten him, not to let him threaten you!” Tony exclaims.

He knew it. This Tower isn’t a safe place, it’s a sieve.

“Come on, Stark. You know me better.”

Tony makes a noncommittal face and then notices he’s still half naked before the god’s eyes.

“Feeling offended?” Loki asks, grinning.

The inventor rolls his eyes and leaves his bed to put on a clean t-shirt and trousers. He’ll take a shower later, when he would have restored JARVIS.

“You’re going to hang around here all day?”

“Since I’ve reached a truce with the lady, I don’t see why I wouldn’t.”

[...]

Later that day, Tony leaves the lab in order to eat something. He assesses that JARVIS will be operational at the end of the day, if everything goes well. Through the glass walls of the lab, he saw Loki wander around the living-room, and then sit on the couch to read a book appeared out of nowhere. Not really peaceful, Tony has kept glancing at him every hour to make sure he was not destroying the place or befriending his AI.

Tony rummages through the fridge and hears footsteps getting closer.

“What are you doing on your computer?” Loki asks in a silk like voice, leaning on the kitchen’s counter.

“Trying to find a way to secure this bloody Tower.”

“You want to keep me away that much?”

Tony closes the fridge and turns around to face him.

“Don’t be so self-centred.”

Tony takes a saucepan in a cupboard, fills it with water and puts it on the stove.

“In case you have forgotten, that wasn’t a lady who welcomed you the last time you came here.”

Tony sees a flicker of interest in Loki’s eyes. He has understood the inventor is going to share something private with him.

“My whole Tower is protected by an IT system, an artificial intelligence. The previous one has been destroyed. His name is JARVIS. So I’ve created another, the lady you met, Friday. Even if she’s nice and efficient, she doesn’t quite fill the gap. So I’m trying to recreate the one I had before and I should achieve my goal tonight.”

“I’m not sure JARVIS will let me hang around here. I do remember him.”

“You bet! At any rate, you seem overly concerned with being inside of my Tower.”

“Well, in case you don’t remember, I’ve spent some time in a cell.”

Loki’s words are heavily loaded with sarcasm.

 “That wasn’t pleasant. I reckon even you can understand why I choose to come here instead of staying there.”

Tony fights the need to roll his eyes again.

“I can get why you choose to hide on this planet instead of staying in a cell. What I don’t get is why you choose my Tower. The world is full of peaceful and perfect places to hide.”

“I like it here.” Loki says simply.

Tony knows there must be something else Loki isn’t telling him but he can’t force him into confessing. He adds salt and pasta in the boiling water and sets a timer.

“You’re lucky I’m the only one who lives here on a daily basis.”

Loki looks like he is offended.

“You think I came here without making sure it was as safe as could be? I’ve waited until everyone has left. I don’t miss my cell.”

“You... You’ve been watching me all this time?”

Tony doesn’t know if he’s ashamed or angry, probably both.

 

__Do you remember your coming down_ _ ____  
__Forced to take sides?_ _ ____  
__Your taunted charm and your broken smile_ _ __  
_ _ __Touched me unexpectedly_ _

__

“It was interesting to say the least.”

Tony shakes his head.

“It’s a violation of privacy.” He states.

Loki raises his eyebrows.

“Because that wasn’t fair since you couldn’t see me?”

“Because I wasn’t aware you were watching.” Tony corrects with a frown.

“I can tell you about my months in cell and about what I’ve seen these past weeks.”

“That’s not how it works. You can’t swap your secrets for my forgiveness.”

Tony didn’t expect Loki to look troubled. Why is he always so unpredictable?

“Is that so?” the god adds. “I offer you to discover my secrets and you dismiss the opportunity because you feel offended?”

He seems annoyed, that’s not good. Tony takes a deep breathe and wonder about what to say next. He does not have the time to figure it out, though, for the timer begins to ring loudly.

Tony switch off the stove and empties the saucepan in a sieve to dry the pasta. He opens a cupboard to take a bowl, breaks off and looks at Loki.

“You want to eat something?”

Loki’s face is neutral when he speaks up.

“You’re not trying to poison me, are you, Stark?”

“I don’t know if I should take this as an insult to my cooking skills or as an insult to my murderous intents.”

“You have a lot to learn about hiding your intentions, human.”

“In the meantime, I’m starving. You want to eat or not?”

“Well, since you’ve cooked the same food for the both of us, if it’s poisoned we will die together.”Loki says dramatically.

Tony does not answer, takes two bowls in the cupboard and divides the steaming pasta into the two bowls. Then, he adds tomato sauce on top of it. Loki watches his every move. Tony takes cutlery in a drawer and hands it to Loki while he collects the dishes.

They sits next to each other on the couch and begins to eat without speaking.

“I won’t spy on you, now that you’ve let me in.” Loki states when they are done eating.

“You’ve watched me sleeping last night and the nights before.”

“I needed to find something I could use to threaten you with in case you wouldn’t let me in.”

“That’s even worse than stalking me, you know that? Nevermind, of course you know.”

Loki flashes him a pleased smile.

“Did you find anything interesting?”

“You snore loudly. Sometimes, you even talks.”

Tony fights the urge to facepalm himself.

“You think someone would be interested in my sleeping habits? I’m not even dating anymore.”

“I certainly hope so.”

Tony can’t tell if Loki is more teasing or more serious.

“Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do. Please don’t destroy anything.”

The inventor is absolutely not running away from Loki.

“See you later, Stark.” Loki says, while grinning.

Tony leaves the living-room and sighs of relief when he sits down in front of his computer screen. Now he has to focus and brings JARVIS back before the end of the day.

[...]

It is four o’clock in the morning. The inventor has spent the last thirteen hours in his lab, apart from a few times when he has needed to fill his mug in the kitchen and to use the loo. He has a vicious headache and his hands almost shake with expectation. This is the home stretch. He has done everything he could and now he is going to witness if it works.

He launches the program on which he has spent hours the last few days. He crosses his hands behind his neck and waits for the computer to starts the program. The code passes before his eyes, and the computer is overheating.

He closes his eyes. When he opens them back minutes later, the code is no longer in sight and the computer is calming down.

“JARVIS? Are you there?” Tony tentatively asks.

“Yes, sir.”

Tony can’t tell how much of a relief this is.

“Welcome back.”

“Thank you, sir.”

He did it. He brought his dear butler back. As soon as the worry recedes, the tiredness takes its place and he almost falls from his chair.

“Need to sleep now.”He mumbles. “Turn off the lights, please.”

The darkness falls upon the lab. Tony doesn’t want to move. He closes his eyes and his last thought before falling asleep on his chair is for JARVIS.

[...]

It’s clear outside when Tony wakes up. His shoulders and lower back hurt like hell because of his posture during the night.

“Welcome back, sir.”JARVIS says.

Tony had almost forgotten that his first AI has a sense of humour of his own.

“How long have I slept?”

“Seven hours, sir. It’s nearly eleven.”

Tony rubs his face and stands up straight.

“Loki hasn’t burn the place down?”

“I don’t reckon so.”

“Good.”

“May I ask what he is doing here?”

“Ask Friday. She’s let him in.”

“And you haven’t done anything to fix it?”

JARVIS’ tone is almost reproachful.

“Well...”Tony had not missed having to explain himself to his AI as if he were still a kid. “Friday had a point when she’s said that he hadn’t threaten anyone yet. Maybe we could leave him a chance?”

Tony wonders if the god has manipulated him. Why is he saying such things?

“I think he’s bored, and he certainly knows that if Thor learns about him wandering freely around here, he will go back to his cell, something he would very much avoid if possible. So he has to behave. He can’t mess up.”

“While I admire your liking for second chances, I do not believe Loki feel particularly threatened by Thor.”

“Let’s see. I’m bored too.”

JARVIS doesn’t add anything. Tony may have the only AI in the world that is capable of sulking.

[...]

The inventor feels more alive after a hot shower and a decent meal. He eyes the dishes in the sink and walk away, pretending he didn’t see them. Very mature, he knows.

He’s been sitting on the couch for five minutes when Loki shows up, teleporting himself in front of Tony.

“I thought you had fainted in your lab,”Loki says without preamble.

“You were worried?”Tony teases while raising his eyebrows.

“You would like to?” Loki teases back with a smile on his lips.

 

__So long_ _ ____  
__So long you've waited in line_ _ __  
_ _ __Desire is a gift in life_ _

 

“Don’t be silly.”

“Anyway, I have heard that you have managed to bring back JARVIS.” Loki says, willing to drop the subject and spare Tony a spar.

“That’s true. Has he spoken to you?”

“Well, he’s asked what my intentions were.”

“About what?”

“About you. He wanted to know why I am here.”

“I hope you haven’t told him, since you didn’t told me.” Tony manages to say that without sounding too much like a petulant kid.

“Looks like you’re jealous, Stark.”

“I’m not jealous, JARVIS tells me everything anyway.”

“I’ve told him what I’ve told you the day before yesterday; that I mean no harm.” Loki explains calmly.

“I can see why he was concerned, then.”

“If I’m still here, I believe you’ve convinced him?”

“Well...” Tony begins. “JARVIS may be the smartest AI, he still cannot be influenced by feelings. Sometimes, he understands them, especially mine, but he can’t feel them for real.”

“I see. Are you aware of what you’re implying here?” Loki asks, the glint of interest back in his blue eyes.

Tony frowns. He always forgets how annoying it is to speak with Loki. He cannot say anything without the other man analysing his sentences.

“Go on?” He tentatively requests.

“You have feelings for me, feelings your AI doesn’t share.” Loki states, seemingly very proud of himself.

Annoying, he was saying? He is wrong. Loki is a living nightmare.

[...]

Two days later, in the evening, Tony is more bored than ever. Bringing JARVIS back was keeping him busy, but he has been wandering aimlessly in the hallway since that day. It annoys him to no end that Loki seems to enjoy himself, always reading books on the couch or watching the city from the large windows.

The only thing he could do was to configure his two AI so that Friday would deal with the outside world and JARVIS would deal with him only, in other words, he would pretend he was still destroyed. Tony does not want the Avengers or SHIELD to bother him with this. He knows they were relieved when they destroyed Ultron. He also knows they won’t be happy if they learn that JARVIS is back. They would not trust Tony to handle his AI, even if he has learnt from his past mistakes. They would not believe him. That is why he will not tell them.

Loki said that Tony was clearly starting to be influenced by him, since he was lying shamelessly to his ex teammates.

Tony leaves the lab where he had been looking at the walls for more than ten minutes now, and goes to the living-room. Loki’s book is closed and sits alone on a cushion. There is an empty glass on the coffee table and Loki is nowhere to be seen.

The inventor wonders if he should ask JARVIS about Loki’s whereabouts. He does not want his AI to answer something like “He has killed someone and I told you he would”. He doesn’t want to find a dead body in the hallway either.

Tony rubs his stubble covered chin.

“Loki?” He asks, trying to appear composed.

No one answers. Fuck. Where is he?

Then, he has an illumination. He almost runs toward his bedroom and slows down before opening the door.

Sure enough, Loki is here, lying gracefully on Tony’s bed. He seems to have taken quite an interest in it, he was even lying opposite Tony when the inventor woke up this morning.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

“Stop asking questions and join me, Stark.”

 

__So long_ _ ____  
__So long you've left and arrived_ _ __  
_ _ __It's time for you to stay a while_ _

 

Tony doesn’t even know why he starts moving and finally sits arms crossed on the edge of the bed, too close to the dark haired and graceful god.

“Not so frightening, is it?” Loki teases.

“That’s the time you tell me you came here because I happen to have a comfortable bed?”

Loki is obviously amused by Tony’s comment.

“It is comfortable, but I’m afraid I find it quite dull when you’re not here.”

Tony is suddenly speechless.

“Offended again? Or is something else?”

Loki’s blue eyes are shining. With what, Tony doesn’t know. However, he is definitely in trouble.

“You think I feel offended because you have recognised that you miss me when I’m not around?” Tony tries to say playfully, knowing Loki won’t be fooled.

“Right, you’re not offended. But maybe you are flattered? No, I don’t think flattery could truly work on you. Mm... Maybe you are interested.”

“Interested in what?”

“Interested in the possibilities that lie beyond what I’ve said.”Loki whispers conspiratorialy.

“I don’t understand your enigmas, Loki.” Tony says, really not understanding at all, but not sure he wants to.

“You will, don’t worry. Now, maybe you could entertain me? Since you have barely acknowledged my presence these last two days.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you are a decent host?”

Tony fights the need to laugh nervously.

“I don’t think so. Everyone has left, remember?”

Loki doesn’t grant him a “fair enough” but it kind of shows on his face anyway.

“Okay, but you will entertain me because you don’t want to see me bored in your Tower.”

Tony frowns and remembers he has another asset now.

“Don’t threaten me, I remind you I have my old AI back, and he’s waiting for your first mistake to call SHIELD.”

“That’s a threat as well.”

“I’ve learnt from the best.”Tony says with a tiny smile. He is currently enjoying their talk, if he dares to be so honest with himself.

“You should definitely entertain me. Or I will entertain myself.”

“Enough threats, we said.” Tony comments.

“That is not a threat. It’s merely a statement of facts.” Loki explains while grinning.

“Okay, try me. What will you do?”

Loki’s grin goes wider.

“Foolish little human,” he whispers without stopping to grin.

Suddenly, he moves from his position on the bed. Tony blinks and then Loki is standing right in front of him. He pushes the inventor and forces him to lie down on the bed before placing himself on top of him. His smile is almost predatory now, Tony notices.

Tony urges himself to stay calm and to breathe evenly but the only thing he can think about is how close Loki’s face is from his own. He can see the glint in his eyes, the smile on his lips, the strands of dark and shining hair falling against his neck and chest.

He wants to call JARVIS and he doesn’t want to.

Loki doesn’t leave him the time to ponder it. He lowers his face until his hair brushes against Tony’s skin and press his cold lips against Tony’s ones without any hesitation.

Tony’s eyes widen. He tries to push Loki away, although Loki sees him coming and grab his wrists to hold him down. Then he kisses him again, except that this time, he nips Tony’s lower lip to make him open his mouth. Tony tries to bit him back, and the kiss goes more interesting. Shortly, their tongues meet each other and embark upon an angry dance. Tony puts all his frustration in it.

Out of the blue, he wonders if he likes it better that way; when Loki is not teasing him. Even if that means he has to silence him himself literally. That is really a strange thought to have right now.

“I can see you overthinking, Stark. Can’t you just enjoy the time being? ”

Tony rolls his eyes when Loki breaks the kiss to lecture him. He is about to say that the god ruined the mood, but once again he cannot pursue his ideas. Loki lowers himself against Tony, his thigh finding its place between Tony legs. The sudden touch arouses him.

Naturally, Tony’s hands come to rest around Loki’s waist, which seems to please the god. He surely is determined to drive the inventor crazy.

Loki nibbles Tony’s left earlobe, enjoying how Tony turns his head almost instantly to allow him more space. Loki has had quite a few lovers in his centuries of life, however that is the first time he feels such a strong desire to blow somebody’s mind.

The thought of a naked Tony Stark, eyes shining with lust and messy hair is enough to make him sigh. Oh, he is so hooked already.

 

__If you chose life_ _ ____  
__You know what the fear is like if..._ _ ____  
__You welcome addiction_ _ __  
_ _ __This is your kingdom_ _

 

Tony is not voicing his pleasure yet, but he must admit that his body is very much reacting to Loki’s ministrations. The bright dark hair is falling on him too, and he breathes deeply. They smell like ice and desire and a promise of burning kisses. That’s intoxicating. Tony forgets for a while why he did not want this to happen.

Loki leaves his ear only to attack his neck. His teeth sinks into the thin skin under Tony’s jaw, and Tony tightens his hold on Loki’s lower body. Right now he wants to feel his skin against his, their body so close that one could not say that there were two different person laying on the bed.

That’s quite unusual for him to lay on his back, he is more comfortable when in control, but Loki won’t let him reverse their positions. So Tony takes the matter in his own hands. He finds the hem of Loki’s shirt and clumsily tries to take it off.

Loki’s lips smile against his skin and then bites it deliberately. Tony closes his eyes. He manages to keep the fabric between his fingers anyway.

“I like it when you move forward on your own.“  Loki murmurs in Tony’s ear before backing away to let the inventor undress him. Tony fumbles a while with the small buttons and finally manage to get rid of Loki’s shirt. His naked torso appears in front of him. His skin is white and his ribs a bit prominent but he has exactly the same grace than when Tony has seen him stretched out on the bed.

“Like what you see?” He asks unnecessarily. For that matter, Tony does not grant him an answer.

There are still too much clothes between them, Tony thinks. He does not know where that desire come from. All he knows is the way Loki’s skin resonate with his own. That is a weird feeling, that is for sure. His mind is blurry and he cannot focus on something else than Loki’s naked torso against his own covered chest, his ark furiously illuminated under the dark fabric.

“I thought you were supposed to entertain me,” reminds the god in his singsong voice, full of innuendos and promises.

And that is when the teasing finally triggers Tony’s pride. Until then, he was not feeling overly concerned, just aroused, but right now he feels like he cannot ignore Loki’s teasing anymore. He has to show him what he is worth, for fuck’s sake. At no time he realises that this is exactly what Loki wanted to do: to control him with his feelings, in this case, his pride.

Tony takes off his own t-shirt, and he feels every muscle in his chest tensing up. Loki's gaze does not leave him one second, for which Tony is glad. He has lived all his life in front of an audience and he only has to remember how it felt to impress Loki tonight. That should not be much different, right?

Who is he kidding? Everything is different. People were superficial, something that does not apply to Loki, definitely not. The fire in his eyes is real, Tony could swear it. He may be a trickster, playing with humans for fun, however he does what he really wants, and Tony knows he wants him.

Nothing has prepared Tony for what is going on in his bedroom now. He has never felt like this when he was about to have sex with a woman. Loki is beyond them. He is insufferable and frightening and alluring as hell.

His features are screaming “danger”, maybe that is why Tony gave in to his little game. He always had been attracted by danger.

Without speaking, Tony pushes Loki back on the mattress, leaving him no space to overpower him. Then, he takes off Loki's trousers, leaving him clad in his dark underwears. Loki leans on his elbow and watches intently as Tony gets up and takes off his own blue jeans and let them fall on the floor with a soft noise.

The temperature rises when their eyes meet. Tony goes back to the bed and leans to press himself against Loki. As their lips find each other, Tony loses his mind. He left his clothes on the floor and yet his skin is burning. Loki's fingers caress his neck and collarbornes, cold as ice.

How is that possible that someone as opposed from him mentally is also someone as close physically?

The fact that they are two mens is no longer on Tony's mind, because Loki is more than that. It feels so natural to be with him, to kiss his pale skin and to mess with his dark hair, to feel his flat chest against his own or his burning desire between his legs.

If the idea was believable, Tony would say that it is not the first time they find themselves in that situation.

“You're usually far much eloquent, Stark,” Loki suddenly notices without venom.

“Keep your breathe for later, you boaster,” Tony mumbles back while smiling briefly.

Loki begins to laugh, eyebrows raised, until Tony kisses him fiercely. Seconds later, they are almost moaning into the kiss, their hands messily trying to stroke the other's body in every possible way. It is a fight as much as an embrace.

They won't back out now, it is too late.

They move against each other, and soon Tony's hand finds its way between Loki's legs. Loki looks aroused and proud of himself at the same time. Tony finds it both infuriating and hot.

He expected it to feel stranger. As he slowly kindles Loki's body with his hand, he discovers that it is not much different from what he used to do. He is only pleasuring someone.

The lack of weirdness reassures him to no end.

Seconds later, he is no longer able to even think about it. Loki begins to touch him the same way and Tony sighs his pleasure between two deep breaths. You boaster, he told him. Well, Tony won't admit it out loud, but Loki may have something to boast about.

The bedroom is now too hot so wear anything. Loki prompts Tony to undress him by taking his wrist and slipping his hand under his dark underwear. Tony gets the idea and helps Loki out of his last piece of clothing. Then, he backs off and do the same for himself, discarding the clothes somewhere on the bed.

The sensations are almost too much now that they are both naked. Loki is still laying on his back, his dark hair reclining on the sheets, his eyes shining with barely concealed lust and his defined chest going up and down every so often.

Loki smiles when Tony meets his gaze, as if he has just remembered he wanted to say something.

“Ever been with a man before, Stark?”

“Why you asking? Because you’re impressed by my skills?” Tony deadpans.

Loki's smile grows wider and for once, he does not answer. Tony wonders why, but then Loki reverses their positions and Tony finds himself trapped between the mattress and a half-god with shining eyes.

“In my tremendous kindness, I'm going to share my precious knowledge with you. I do hope you're not going to use it foolishly with someone else than me.” Loki's tone is soft as silk and at the same time threatening.

Tony isn't really scared, but he is paralysed by his desire and Loki's voice.   

“Wasn't I supposed to entertain you?” Tony asks as Loki sits between his legs. He finds it almost funny to remind them now that this is how their talk has begun.

“Your moans will be sufficient... for now.”

Loki slowly traces a path of hot kisses and bites along Tony's chest, and even Tony's will of discrepancy is not powerfull enough to stop himself from expressing his pleasure.

His breathing goes louder when Loki draws his hipbone and groin with his tongue, then he goes lower. By this point, Tony is shaking. His blood is violently rushing through his body and if he was standing he would probably fall. He can feel Loki's tongue and lips on him and this is amazing.

One other way to silence him, Tony thinks out of the blue. He can't help but smile and he is awarded by a bite on his inner thigh which causes his whole body to tense. Gosh, he is so close...

A pitiful moan escapes his lips when Loki stops what he is doing to kiss him again. Tony welcomes back nevertheless the weight and kilometers of burning skin on his body. Theirs hands find their way back and bring each other to the edge.

Tony feels his whole being shivering as he surrenders. He scratches Loki's back and a deep moan escapes his lips. He closes his eyes, suddenly lacking every bit of strength he had left. In some mumbled words, Loki urges him to keep going. So from the bottom of his consciousness, Tony brings him to climax. A few seconds later, he is rewarded by a fierce hug and a langourous sigh as Loki collapses against him.

 

__Your fight for power_ _ ____  
__For memories, answers and signs_ _ ____  
__Will bring you through the dark to light_ _ __  
_ _ __Clear and redefined_ _

__

Whereas the only thing Tony wants right now is to sleep, his brain begins to emerge from his numbness. Suddenly he takes everything into account. He is naked, Loki is naked too, and they have just...

How could it happen? What kind of fool is he to give in to Loki's every trap?

As suddenly as Tony has felt the desire growing earlier, he is now experiencing the start of an anxiety attack. He feels trapped under Loki's body and tries to push him away. He desperately needs to escape, nothing is rational anymore.

Loki does not try to fight back at first, he falls like a dead weight on Tony's other side, but Tony does not lose time to think about his curious lack of reaction. He gets up and that is when he fumbles amongst the discarded clothes to find his own that Loki seems to notice that something is wrong.

“What you doing, Stark?” He aks, in a understandable but tired tone.

Tony does not look up nor does he answer. He only takes a bundle of clothes and escapes the room swiftly, leaving a bemused Loki behind him.

On the other side of the door, Tony tries to take a few deep breaths in the hope of settling down the anxiety and remnants of desire happily messing with his mind.

What have they done?

He is naked in the dim and cold corridor, all alone. He cannot bring himself to call JARVIS, how could he?

Clenching the clothes against his chest, he crosses the corridor to find an empty guest room. He locks the bedroom's door, lets the clothes fall on the floor and walks toward the bathroom where he opens the bath's tap. He does not wait for the bathtub to fill itself and jumps right in.

The surface is ice cold and the water is burning. Tony wants to throw up.

He made quite a few mistakes during his life, and that is not the first time he feels like shit after doing something.

The worse is that even if he knows that it was wrong, he has to admit that he never felt so alive than in Loki's arms. That is the worse because it happened once and it should not happen again.

He cannot take that risk, right?

Tony closes the tap after a while and soaks in the hot water without moving. Pictures of Loki's perfect nakedness comes to his mind. It was so intense and now it's over.

 

__Too long_ _ ____  
__Too long I waste for these_ _ __  
_ _ __Emotionally sucking life_ _

 

Absentmindedly, he grabs a bottle on the edge of the bathtub and begins to wash his hair. He needs to get rid of Loki's scent as much as he needs to dive in it. Then, he thoroughly washes his body from neck to toe. He wants to drown his thoughts in the soapy water, to let them go in the pipes as he empties the tub. He grabs a towel and dries his body, shivering from the cold and the lack of Loki.

He throws the towel on the floor and exits the bathroom after turning the lights off. The bedroom is dark, but after a few seconds he is able to see the shape of the bed.

Still naked, he walks to the bed and lets himself fall on it. The sheets are cold and clean, but somehow Tony is not as relieved as he should be.

Having Loki in the Tower these past days was annoying and at the same time, Tony could not be completely against it. It felt good to be with someone like him, for once. But now that they had sex...

Tony does not know what he is more afraid of. That Loki could leave him in the morning never to return, or that he would want to stay and be with Tony on a daily basis.

Abandonment or commitment?

Well, the first one happens to Tony no matter what he does in his life and as a result he avoids the second one as best as he can, sonce it always leads to the former.

Tony does not want to be attracted to Loki, however deep down he knows that it's too late. Loki has impressed him the first time they had met. And now he cannot forget what they shared tonight.

 

__Too long_ _ ____  
__Too long, you waste and right_ _ __  
_ _ __It's time for you to recognise_ _

 

Tony waits for hours, alone in the bed, until Morpheus finally takes him with her.

[...]

When he wakes up, Tony is disoriented. It takes a minute for him to remember why he has not slept in his own bedroom. __Because I__ _ _have__ _ _left someone in there...__

He does not want to put back on the clothes he wore the previous day, but that is all he has for now. He cannot possibly go out of this room naked, even if he is at home. He does not want to ask JARVIS if Loki is still here.

He dresses up and exits the room as silently as he can. He closes the door behind him and crosses the corridor. To his relief, the living-room appears to be deserted.

He moves toward the kitchen where he grabs a clean mug in a cupboard before switching the coffee maker on. Before long, the bittersweet smell of coffee invades the area and Tony breathes in deeply. Coffee is safe.

He takes his mug with him, as if he were to lock himself in his lab to work on JARVIS' code. Then he remembers that he has succeeded three days ago and that he has better to find himself something to do before he goes crazy.

He heads toward the lab anyway.

That is when Loki appears out of nowhere and stands in front of Tony who almost drops his mug on the floor. He curses loudly and looks briefly at Loki's face. He does not look angry nor happy, yet his eyes are not shining anymore.

“That was very kind of you to leave me plenty of room to sleep.” He says in a neutral tone.

Tony's chest tightens. Neutrality does not suit Loki, he is too flamboyant for that. It seems he is pretending to be indifferent, because if he was really not feeling concerned by Tony's desertion, he would not catch him in the morning to confront him.

“I can be considerate, sometimes.” Tony manages to say without irony. He clenches his mug between his fingers and tries to enters his lab, however Loki does not let him move forward.

“Mind if I go to work?” He asks while frowning.

“Actually, I do mind.” 

Tony sighs and drinks a few sips of coffee. It is still hot and it burns his tongue and Tony mutters some curse words under his breath. The day is not beginning very well for him.

“Care to explain why?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow. He knows why, he knows what Loki is going to answer, but he can't help but ask. Denying is his last resort since he cannot take responsibility for his behavior.

Loki snorts.

“Really, Stark? What if I tell you that yesterday night, you've left me alone after I gave you...”

Loki cannot finish his sentence as Tony tries to silence him with his hand. He acted on instinct, hearing Loki talk about last night is too much. Loki does not give him a minute to think about what he just did, he grabs Tony's wrist and kisses his fingers, smiling when Tony's eyes open widely. Then, he lets go of Tony's hand as he grabs his waist to drive him closer. Tony tenses up and uses his mug as a protection between him and Loki's.

“You want to act like nothing happened last night? Then we will do it all over again.”

Loki makes the mug disappear in a flicker. Tony does not have the time to get offended by the terrible abduction, since Loki kisses him all of the sudden.

Tony tries to push him away instantly without looking at him in the eyes, but Loki tightens his grip around Tony's waist. He will not allow him to escape once again.

However Tony really needs Loki to let him go or he is going to freak out right before him. Well, maybe that be could be seen as an explanation...

“Stop.” He manages to say, still trying to disantangle himself from Loki.

“What are you afraid of, Stark?” Loki asks, meeting his gaze. His own face is curious and without anger even if he is frowning a bit.

What if? Tony answers in his head. What if Loki wants to stay, what if Loki is serious is playing with him is mad? Everything gets blurry in his head. Loki has not freed him yet and Tony surprises himself to be unable to use his strength to do it.

Oh, the reason why is obvious. He has just said it; Loki has not freed him, which means that he is physically touching Tony. They have spend only one night together and now Tony cannot forget how it felt.

Seriously? He would do a very bad opponent if they were to fight.

“Stark, answer me.” Loki claims, getting impatient of the mortal's antics.

Suddenly Tony knows that, with Loki, commitment is the thing he should be afraid of. Loki would not be here trying to get a confession out of Tony if his only aim was to get laid with him. He would have left silently in the morning, like Tony did numerous times in his life.

Which he obviously did not do.

“Why are you still here?”

Loki hears the disbelief in Tony's voice and it confuses him, so his brain starts working instantly. Stark thougt his behavior would cause Loki to leave the Tower? Or maybe it's something else.

“I believe I've told you that I like your place, even the more where you're not hiding somewere far away from me.” Loki answers, as honestly and calmly as possible, as if he were dealing with a violent child.

Tony rubs his forehead with the back of his hand and sighs.

“You haven't answered my question,” he reminds Tony in the same tone.

“Wanna know what I'm afraid of?” Tony repeats with a barely concealed anger. “People. That's why I stay alone.”

Loki raises one single eyebrow.

“What have they done to you, Stark? Where's your will, your energy?”

Tony snorts with disdain. His skin is burning where Loki is touching him.

 

__If you chose life_ _ ____  
__You know what the fear is like if..._ _ ____  
__You welcome addiction_ _ __  
_ _ __This is your kingdom_ _

 

“Why are you here, Loki?”

“I've told you that I...”

“Tell me what you’re hoping for.” Tony clarifies, suddenly looking determined.

Loki's eyes open widely. Oh, that was it, then. He could not bring himself to believe it, but it seems Stark is definitely attached to him. He authorises himself a light smile, then erases it completely before answering.

“No, Stark. You tell me what you want from me.”

Tony frowns.

“I'm not the one who gets to choose. I don't want to leave, but the choice is up to you.” Loki explains seriously.

Tony has not expected him to say that, not at all.

“You have forced your way in and now you're saying that you don't get to choose?”

Loki smiles briefly.

“I haven't talked about my arrival. Of course I didn't ask for you opinion back then, you would have said no.”

“And why would it be any different now?”

“Because you've left me a chance, which means you know what it felt like to be with me. ”

Tony mutters some curses that Loki cannot understand, even if they are close. He looks like a prey trying to escape from the predator. In this case, the predator is the truth, trying to catch the prey, the lies Tony told himself. Tony's denial is slowly fading away.

“And you imagine that it changes something?” He manages to say as if everything was fine for him.

 “I do hope so. Actually, judging by your face, I do believe it. Just tell me.”

“Tell you what?” Tony asks with an obvious bad faith.

“That you want me to stay.”

Tony closes his eyes, one, two, three, four seconds and open them back to stare right into Loki's eyes.

“I don't know what I want.” He confesses, and Loki can feel an ounce of sincerity this time.

“But you at least know what you don't want.” Loki urges him.

Tony sighs before blurting. “I don't want you to kiss anyone else but me.”

Loki often prides himself for his capacity to stay composed, but he really did not expect Tony to say that. He has really killed his denial. Loki cannot help but smile while raising one single eyebrow.

“See? That wasn't so hard to say, Stark.”

Tony scratches his neck, not knowing particurlaly how to act now that he has just confessed to Loki.

He does not have to, in fact. Loki knows how to act.

He puts his other arm around Tony's back and meet his gaze briefly before kissing him right on his lips.

“I don't want to kiss anyone else but you.” Loki states.

Then, he bites Tony's lower lip and drive him into a violent kiss where the two of them try to take control. Tony feels his desire growing back in a heartbeat. And even if his choice was not the one he was supposed to make, he could not imagine saying farewell to Loki forever.

 

__If you chose life_ _ __  
_ _ __You know what the fear is like if..._ _

And after all, since this is Loki he is talking about, maybe he won't have to choose what scares him most between abandonment and commitment; their relationship is not based on the same logic. If Loki leaves him, he will come back, and he won't stay all the time either, nor ask for Tony to have kids or any kind of fucked up plans like that.

Maybe he will get hurt, maybe this is a very bad idea, but he cannot forget.

He can't forget how __right__  it has felt that night.

 

__You welcome addiction_ _ __  
_ _ __This is your kingdom_ _

(23.10.17)

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you think? I honestly don't know about the grammar, since English isn't my mother tongue. I wrote I AM TERRIFIED in French and I translated it in English afterwards; it was long and I wasn't happy with the result. This time I wrote KoWA in English and then I translated it into French, which was quicker (but that's why most of the sentences are pretty simple). If you want to read this in French, you can find it on my fanfiction.net account with the same username.
> 
> I sincerely hope it's not too badly written, you're welcome to tell me what you think of it.
> 
> PS : extra kudos for those who will get the reference highlighted in the text.
> 
> Thanks for reading !


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